that's one thing I would never...

I hope my smile
can distract you
I hope my fists
can fight for two
So it never has to show
And you’ll never know

I hope my love
can blind you
I hope my arms
can bind you
So you’ll never have to see
What we’ve grown to be

One may think
we’re alright
But we need pills
to sleep at night
We need lies
to make it through the day
We’re not ok

One may think
we’re doing fine
But if I had to lay it on the line
We’re losing ground
with every passing day
We’re not ok

But that’s one thing
I would never
One thing I would never
That’s one thing
I would never say to you

(Pills - The Perishers)



I do hope that this is just a phase. But I'm not sure about anything.

after several years.

well, my mum and dad were just having their 25th wedding anniversary last month. 25 years is a proof that something is worth to walk. thanks mum, thanks dad. and today, i found a song from fun. titled The Gambler.

Slow down,
we've got time left to be lazy
All the kids have bloomed from babies into flowers in our eyes.
We've got 50 good years left to spend out in the garden
I don't care to beg your pardon,
We should live until we die.

We were barely 18 when we'd crossed collective hearts.
It was cold, but it got warm when you'd barely crossed my eye.
and then you turned, put out your hand,
and you asked me to dance.
I knew nothing of romance, but it was love at second sight.

I swear when I grow up, I won't just buy you a rose.
I will buy the flower shop, and you will never be lonely.
Even if the sun stops waking up over the fields
I will not leave, I will not leave 'till it's our time.
So just take my hand, you know that I will never leave your side.

It was the winter of '86, and all the fields had frozen over.
So we moved to Arizona to save our only son
and now he's turning to a man, although he thinks just like his mother,
he believes we're all just lovers he sees hope in everyone.

And even though she moved away,
we always get calls from our daughter.
She has eyes just like her father's
they are blue when skies are grey
And just like him, she never stops,
Never takes the day for granted,
works for everything that's handed to her,
Never once complains.

You think that I nearly lost you
When the doctors tried to take you away.
But like the night you took my hand beside the fire
30 years ago to this day
You swore you'd be here 'til we decide that it's our time
Well it's not time, you've never quit in all your life.
So just take my hand, you know that I'll never leave your side.
You're the love of my life, you know that I'll never leave your side.

You come home from work and you kiss me on the eye
You curse the dogs and say that I should never feed them what is ours
and the kids are coming home
I'll set the table
You can make the fire.

Fun - The Gambler

Ain't it sweet? Marriage is much alike a gambling, you have to play your cards and take all the risk. I wish I'll play this game.

listen

Wake up, say good morning to
That sleepy person lying next to you
If there's no one there then there's no one there
But at least the war is over

It's us, yes, we're back again
Here to see you through 'til the day's end
And if the night comes and the night will come
Well at least the war is over

Lift your head and look out the window
Stay that way for the rest of the day and watch the time go
Listen, the birds sing, listen, the bells ring
All the living are dead and the dead are all living
The war is over and we are beginning

Gridlock on the parkway now
The television man is here to show you how
The channel fades to snow, it's off to work you go
But at least the war is over

She's gone, she left before you woke
As you ate last night, neither of you spoke
Dishes, TV, bed, the dark was filled with dread
But at least the war is over

Lift your head and look out the window
Stay that way for the rest of the day and watch the time go
Listen, the birds sing, listen, the bells ring
All the living are dead and the dead are all living
The war is over and we are beginning

We won or we think we did
When you went away you were just a kid
And if you lost it all and you lost it
Well, we'll still be there when your war is over

Lift your head and look out the window
Stay that way for the rest of the day and watch the time go
Listen, the birds sing, listen, the bells ring
All the living are dead and the dead are all living
The war is over, we are beginning

Here it comes, here comes the first step
Here it comes, here comes the first step
It starts up in our bedroom after the war
It starts up in our bedroom after the war, after the war

After the war, after the war, after the war
After the war, after the war, after the war

[Stars - In Our Bedroom After The War]

Dream A Little Dream

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "i love you"
Birds singin’ in the sycamore trees
Dream a little dream of me

Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you’ll miss me
While I’m alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I’m longin’ to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars shining up above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "i love you"
Birds singin’ in the sycamore trees
Dream a little dream of me

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

first love

Ini gara-gara dengerin lagunya Nikka Costa beberapa hari yang lalu. Saya jadi teringat-ingat masa SMA, bahkan SMP. Dan beberapa hari yang lalu, saya memimpikan "dia" yang sempat saya pikir adalah cinta pertama saya. Dia orang yang baik sebenarnya, cuma mungkin dia "wrong man in the wrong time", atau justru saya yang "wrong girl in the wrong place & time". Dia bisa saja jadi cinta pertama saya, tapi sepertinya dia adalah masalah pertama saya. :)

Nah nah.. Do I believe in first love? Nggak tau juga. Beranikah saya bilang bahwa "dia" itu cinta pertama saya? Nggak juga. Buat saya, istilah cinta itu terlalu absurd. Dari mana kita tahu itu yang pertama? Bahkan, apa mungkin kita akan mendapatkan yang terakhir?

Everyone can see
There's a change in me
They all say I'm not the same
Kid I used to be

Don't go out and play
I'll just dream all day
They don't know what's wrong with me
And I'm too shy to say

It's my first love
What I'm dreaming of
When I go to bed
When I lay my head upon my pillow
Don't know what to do

My First love
He thinks that I'm too young
He doesn't even know
Wish that I could show him what I'm feeling
Cause I'm feeling my first love

Mirror on the wall
Does he care at all
Will he ever notice me
Could he ever fall

Tell me Teddy Bear
Why love is so unfair?
Will I ever find a way
And answer to my pray

For my first love,
What I'm dreaming of
When I go to bed
When I lay my head upon my pillow
Don't know what to do

My first love

He thinks that I'm too young
He doesn't even know
Wish that I could show him what I'm feeling
Cause I'm feeling my first love

My first love.......

But I'm all over it! Saya sedang menjalani hari-hari saya bersama seorang laki-laki baik hati yang nggak memperdulikan hancurnya wajah saya atau parahnya mood saya. He might not be the first, and I don't know whether he will be the last one. The only thing I know, I'm very happy right now.

numb

Words we had said
Grew in my head
Colored I thought
Send me to bed

Lost memories
Grew into trees
Cover the doors
Swallow the cure

Winters have come and gone you know
Winters have come and gone you know
But I'll miss you young and free
For a dance round the memory tree

Said I forgot
But I did not
Dreams we have had
Play in my head

Did we believe,
The cry of the wind?
Did we regret?
Would we forget?

Winters have come and gone you know
Winters have come and gone you know
But I'll miss you young and sweet
For a dance round the memory tree

[Oren Lavie - A Dance Round The Memory Tree]